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March 29, 2008
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Award Winner
The most deserving person in the world to receive the Swift Silken Thread for
Meaningless Achievement Award is former president William Jefferson Clinton. He was
president for 8 years. He has had many meaningless achievements during his life. Some
were not even legal.
One of his many meaningless achievements is receiving the longest haircut to ever
shut down an airport. This is an achievement no one will ever come close to reaching.
Mr. Clinton was at the LAX airport in Los Angeles, California when this feat was
achieved. He decided he wanted a haircut while aboard Air Force 1. Due to the security
that must be kept for the president, no planes were allowed to take-off or land at the
airport. His very important haircut only lasted a few hours, so he only inconvenienced a
few thousand people.
Another meaningless achievement of the former president was his astonishing
ability to avoid being drafted into the military. Of course this was illegal, but it takes a lot
of ability and smarts to do this. Another trait that he must have had to achieve something
so meaningless is cowardlness. Cowardness seems to be his best trait. It really helped him
become a draft dodger.
Last but definitely not least, the most meaningless achievement of Bill Clinton’s life
is cheating on his wife, Hilary, in the most well known office in the United States. Of
course its the Oval Office in the White House. This meaningless achievement was great
for the US It made the country so well known all over the world. It made him very
popular with the ladies too. Cigar sales also went up after his affair came out in public.
Though no one is really sure why.
William Jefferson Clinton is well deserving of this award. Not all of his
meaningless achievements could fit on such little paper because there are so many of them.
But as anyone could tell no one deserves this meaningless award more than him.
Word Count: 332
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